I am...
Thursday, September 27, 2007Y
3:41 pm
Chilly day.Woke up already felt the chill, then thought was because yesterday night nv sleep well as I was studying my chemistry. haha, but not really late, 11 plus?
Everyday seems to be the same this week. Wake up early, study, go school, take exam, come back home, watch zhong ji yi jia, sleep, wake up, study study study!, sleep, end
taken Lang arts paper 1, chinese paper 1, ss, hist, biomed and chem today. Yesterday and today was a flunk, haha. ZZZ, I studied damn hard for them la, but biomed did'nt manage to finish, was struggling to finish studying my history on the way to school yesterday, when reaching the bus stop then think jun kai asked me if i finished studying, lol, when I looked at my bio med notes i was so despaired! felt like crying.. Saw jiong rui sleeping almost half an hour or earlier while I was still writing ferociously! WAAAAA..don't know what to say. Bio med, a lot duno wad to do, tried to write something for everything, still okay bah, think the time given is too long. Same case today, was supposed to wake up at 4.30am to continue studying my chemistry but ended up waking up at 5.30am. Afterwards I realised its because I made my alarm ring tat 4.30PM instead of AM. ZZZ. Chem paper 2, I tried my best la, cause I finished studying everything last minute on the way to school again, got some confidence, but the time is too short, was struggling to finish. I was watching the minute hand of the clock ticking away every second, then saw mrs phua looking at me in-front. Very desperate to complete all the questions, was basically scribbling on the paper, like flying like that, damn fast. LOL. Can't even understand what I wrote myself, I think my handwriting is really worsening, gosh. haha, the fan is right behind, blow until even colder and want to sleep. hais, think this paper very disappointing, thought can score well, but seems very bleak, cuz a lot is anyhow guess, panicking all the time. hais, but its over! paper 1 still okay, but i shaded wrongly for one question, 可惜！
Anyway, my chiou chiou don't sad le la, see you cry I also feel so sad for you... smile kay, don't worry so much
! I pei you go and eat ice cream next time! :D LOL, yueting say I looked like santa claus today. OMG.. no la...don't anyhow say...haha.. extremist rocks :D <3
haha, nothing else, wish me luck for maths tmr
Saturday, September 22, 2007Y
8:05 am
Yesterday slept early, today woke up at 11 plus unintendedly. A day passed like that again.. 1 more day to exams.. yea..big day is coming, what am I doing now... beats me.. -.-
yesterday found a lot of pictures of squadmates, pictures that I didn't really notice of last time, really made me look back. Maybe you are thinking that its exam period now and I should not think or do so much meaningless stuff, but well.. you still have to live your life even if its exam right? if not why are you even looking at my blog now?
Friday
Woke up at 4am plus to study since I slept very early on thursday cause I very tired and met with Junkai at 5.55am, think he like also very tired, both eyes quite red le :( Came to school den suddenly someone shouted "WINNIE!" Wa, then I looked around and realised that its Wilfred from the bball court, pro man, great lungs, totally jerked all of my sleepiness off. Was thinking of either rush home to sleep or maybe eat with shu hui before going home right after school during the lessons. Yea, its really during all the lessons, cause I'm really Really REALLY very tired, really wanna fall asleep but have to stay awake la, so the only way to sleep is when I got home! so was practically looking forward to end of school the whole day. Nth much actually, just like keep see dexter on the werge of falling asleep, binsing also, wa, two sleepy logs beside me, very hard to resist my sleepiness also.
Finally, after school was about to go before chiou yih shouted to me "Winnie!" from 3J. Haha, very cute. Waited for yueting before going to anchor point with yiling, chiou, clarine. Went to queensway to buy clarine's FBT before going to anchor point, saw some interesting things. On the way to anchorpoint very dui lian, shall not say why, cause really very dui lian, hahaa, but dui lian with sqdmates also become very fun. Had fun while eating, think we siao already, esp me, laugh at every single thing practically, haha, suddenly thought of the thing that chiou showed us, omg, i'm dying of laughter, omg omg. hahahahahha!
Then yingting joined us la, yueting was trying to trick her into going to queensway herself so that she will meet what we met earlier on. Lol, then yingting thought we want her to go there to do lame stuffs like attracting old man or wad, lol. nonetheless went back to queensway awhile then saw something very interesting. haha, shall not say what is it, chiou clarine and me bought one each, then went home. On the way to busstop talked to chiou. haha, talk to sqdmates then feel very relax. yea end of friday.
Saw yiling's nick today, "the very people that saw you in pieces are the ones who are capable of putting you back." something like that. Yea, sort of agree. I think the people who alway see me in my pieces are mostly my sqdmates, although they may not know, cause sometimes its just few moments of breakdown and stuff. Yup, but those times when you guys are beside me will alway remain in me.
I participated in quite a lot of competitions and parades in my np life:
SYF parade in 2006
Horizon challenge in 2006
NPDP parade in 2007
.22 shooting competition in 2007
Inter unit quiz in 2007
Hilary chanllenge in 2007
maybe forget some others, nonetheless, so many of those, are not competitions or parades alone, they contain a lot of fond memories.I remember that time, when that thing happened, its you guys who are beside me. During the horizon challenge, actually wanna keep it to myself, had a really hard time trying to contain everything, but some of you noticed that I was really weird and down that day. Told chiou what happened, got better, although nv forget, not that I forget now already. Remember sitting in one corner in school and thrashing everything out with chiou one day after a school event and cried my hearts out for the first time in my life. thanks chiou, your support that time really helped. I remember mingjie's couragements and support given for that many months, really appreciated it, really. I remember how guofeng constantly courage me in our phone calls and smses in different areas, np, school work, personal life, thanks guofeng for your support. I remember the many squadmates who took the trouble to prepare their full uniform and came to hometeam academy to support our NPDP parade. I remember peiwen's hug before I left for my hillary challenge. I remember the sight of sqdmates sitting on the grandstand of CCAB when I reached CCAB for my last stop of hillary challenge. I remember how my sqdmates came to help us with many different extreme ways with our last challenge when the rest of the people was watching happily. I remember sijie's shoulder when I was crying after I did badly for my .22 shooting competition.
Many many things happened, since the start of my np life, right start from my first contact with rvnps307, the first sqdmate who talked to me in sec one, clarine. I will remember those bitter sweet moments when we knock it down together, doing the turns and flips during PT, shouting cheers around the school together, doing our np stomp, trying dragon pumpings together in those corridors, silent drills, rounds around the track with my squadmates during ITCs. I love the way how we still care for each other even if we are pissed or angry, how we tried to be friends again even though we are in a awkward position after quarreling, how we forgive each other even though it really affect us a lot. Love the heartwarming hug sthat we give each other when we encourage each other.
I guess there must be a true reason why so many of my squadmates say I love NP after our bersurai, even out of np in our blogs and msn, because we really experience the true meaning of the bond within us. Well, mayb not all of us, but those who truely belong, because we really appreciate each other and understand the true meaning behind i love np, or rather, i love my squadmates.
oh well, why am i wasting time writing so much here? well, i love my sqdmates, yea, so i don't think i'm wasting time expressing how i feel for them, yea, no arguments. :D
jiayou extremists.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007Y
5:50 am
Superrr tired today. Well, maybe thats because I slept at 1am plus yesterday. Was studying my physics while chatting with xiao jun, who were talking to junkai on the other end.. LOL Can sense that both of them are very happy that their prelims are over, haha, of course la, who won't? Hope my end of years will come soon and end as soon as possible..Today woke up feeling dreamy and blur. Lol, didn't even hear my alarm ring. No cid today, instead some lecture on oral presentation, all in all still quite okay, although I would much prefer to stay in classroom. Haha, then PE written test, horrendous, I seriously have no idea how a volleyball court looks like. Anyway, chee hooi have good candle catching skills :D damn amazing. Shu hui very funny leh, get back at kamseng for seating on our usual seat duing history yesterday. She rebuted him with the exact same stuff that he said yesterday, then kamseng completely speechless. Chinese lesson Mr Tan did'nt come, no idea why though, so spent my time studying math, got some math pro around me to help, hehe.
After school stayed back till 4 plus for physics and ss remedial. Wa, feel super stressed up during physics, did'nt even catch anything that suria said, was practically struggling to finish copy everything that he say, such a fast speed, like machine gun. Lol, the funniest thing is when I asked dexter when the answer, he told me he had been sleeping since the start of remedial so he don't know. SS was still okay, ended on time :)
Today is my sister's and my father's birthday! happy happy happy birthday to my darlings! love you all forever :D
Monday, September 17, 2007Y
5:56 am
pearpear and me in the airport before kinabalu trip few months back
shu hui and me :)
favourite shannon's mario and me <3
Today arrived in school feeling very weak, not really sure of the reason why though. Went to complete my SS homework with cheehooi in the canteen before morning assembly starts. Lol, almost died, my brain feel as if its braindead and very suffocated. Grr..
The day started well with Mr lee's lesson. haha, I think he is damn cute. :) My poor chee hooi got pick by ms ek for her hair again :( sian, anyway, I like ms yang more as compared to ms tan leh. haha, i don't know, maybe its because she had been teaching me since sec 1? Then somehow have more familarity with her, although some people may say she is not really good, but I still like her :)
After recess damn sianed. Physics more and more sian, but I still listen la, attentive little girl. Wa, normally shu hui and I would look forward to history lesson lo, but today do source- based question for whole lesson! Zzz..somemore my seat got taken up by kamseng and dexter.. doodling with shu hui for whole lesson while half heartedly completed some questions.
Now not really confident of my performance. I think the subjects that I have faith that I will do quite okay ( as in wun fail ) is chinese and lang arts, hist, ss, mayb physics and chemistry if i work hard. the rest I'm really unsure. Even if I did practiced, then during the exam i will forget everything. Nonetheless, I will work hard for them la. haha, today chinese we did 片断缩写。他们说：“成功乃是失败之母”
好咯，我就听他们的话，现在去读书了:D
Sunday, September 16, 2007Y
8:53 am
min and winn :)
sian, now attempting to finishing my physics assignments.Actually planned to finish all my assignments by today! But it the end spent whole lot of my time today studying chem and only completed 1 chem assignment, 1.5 phy assignment. LOL. Totally no mood to do now...zzz...
Anyway, I think 公主小妹 is quite a nice show.
Saturday, September 15, 2007Y
4:28 am
just chatted with claire just now, miss her!
Friday was a long day, lesson was draggy and boring, almost fell asleep in some lessons. After school no cca, so went to Vivo with shuhui and kitty to have lunch and look at cute babies. :D Well, actually for the baby part is just coincidence that we saw a lot! Oh my god, they are so adorable, feel like pinching their faces. We were practically crapping throughout, talked about a lot of stuff while eating, something like our childhood, current stuff and cca. Then we were talking about zhong ji yi jia when shu hui started asking " which boy do you think look like a chord ah? " Okay, a chord is a cute guy in zhong ji yi jia.
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er.. searching his picture in progress..
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can't find.. can't believe it 0_0
Its okay, you can go youtube and watch zhong ji yi jia to find out who he .
lol, then kitty and I were guessing like mad, blurting out all the ridiculous candidates .
"zhiyong"
"no."
"kamseng.."
"no.."
"jiong rui..."
" no la.."
"don't tell me is yunpeng.."
"?!! no!"
"haha, must be jiang yan right..."
"0_0 siao!"
hahahaha, lame.
In the end, its...
"mingliang.."
*kitty and me diao..* -__-
shu hui: "no meh?! yes what! he look like a chord! hahahaha"
After that went shop shop abit and went home.
Today is service day, a day when all the npcc cadets go service to the community. Went to school and met min ee half -way. Haha, we shared the same pathetic fate. And very coincidence, she is in the same group as me for service day. Before we set off for telok banglah heights, gathered the sec twos together and interacted a fair bit. Actually was quite disappointed, because some cadets were very rude, basic respect is not even there. I think respect is something that we should have for people at all time, not just during official acts. We respect you and not scream at you in public doesnt mean you can take it for granted and misbehave yourself all the time. Earn your respect. Other than this, had a rather enjoyable time with them though. :D
My group serviced block 49, which is a high building with 25 storeys. Wa, the scenery there is like extraodinarily beautiful, can see the sea. The wind is relatively strong and feel very relaxing just standing there alone. Took a lot of photos too. After service day went home with adna, cause the rest of extremists had HSK. Luckily I did'nt have to take, if not I sure fell asleep halfway. Oh well, hope they will do well.
So I came home, eat, bathe, watch a abit TV and somehow very tired, so fell asleep until 6 plus. Later gonna study and finish my assignments until quite late since I slept in the afternoon. Lol, quite a lot of assignments and own revisions to finish.
PHYSICS - 5
MATH - 1
CHEMISTRY- 1
SS - 2 qns
End of years in 1 weeks time, nothing to feel or say, no strong feelings, no motivations either, just know that I have to study hard. LOL, I keep havingthe urget o watch zhong ji yi jia leh... somemore episode 27 and 28 out already. Haha, I shall watch them before studying, if not I sure cannot concentrate on the revision.
Anyway, its my sister's and father's birthday this tuesday! 18/9/1994 and 18/9/1959. hehe, so sweet... <3>
This year's ATC is on the coming 19th, 20th and 21st of October if not wrong. The whole extremists to going as a squad! yay.. last year only a few of us went, hope it will be fun this year! Let us unite to show our might! Although I'm a bit scared of the high elements, brr..
Recently my heart keep throbbing in pain, don;t know why, hope its not because of my heart problem last time. Mummy is quite worried, keep calling me to see doctor, but kinda detest it, cause I just don't like it. aiya, you will know if you were me.
Got to eat dinner, bye :D
Thursday, September 13, 2007Y
3:16 am
miss claire..
I think sometimes I'm really very emotional. Sometimes I see no point in arguing back, really. All the painful accuses only peirce right into my heart and leave a scar there. how many times have I done this? I really don't like doing this, I don't like trying to express how I feel, because I realised no matter how hard I try, in the end you still wun get what I mean. Yes, I admit I'm wrong in some areas, but does that mean you can don't listen to me anymore? I only want you to know how I love you. How I wish I can have more of your time mummy.. :(
Few months had passed. 1 year really passed very fast. How I wish time can stop right here. End of years is coming, yet I really have no motivation to study. I know I only have myself to help. Just had my math test just now, likely that I will flunk it. Its not that I'm pessimistic or I did'nt study, I did. But I just blanked out just now. what to do? Forget it. I really feel very down. Everything seem to go against me.
Last time, I thought telling people that I'm down was something very superficial, so I don't really talk alot about my bad or sad things. But now, things start to get out of hand, I really cant handle my sadness anymore, just don't know how..:( I don't want myself to be like this, so weak, like a weakling, cant even stop myself from crying over little things. Whats there to cry for? I'm not sure myself too.
ohyea, sorry that I've stopped writing for so long. A lot of things happened, not that you wanna know, but yea, a lot of things really happened. Maybe I'm already not the winnie in sec 2 and 1 anymore. I'm also not sure of what I have become. Well, thats not really important. Just feel lucky that I still have some friends supporting me behind. Thanks guys. :)
Well, I've decided to return to my blogging life, because I think this is the only way that I can write freely and happily and at least someone will care about it. LOL, do I sound too serious? Nah, don't worry about me, I will be fine when everything is okay yea... :)
My sister just showed me a friday weekly with me in it. LOL, kok haw asked me to write something for him and put my picture there, didn't know he is really serious about going on papers. haha, anyway they dragged my face until superrr fatt. Wa, I'm damn pissed, haha.
jiayou for mugging guys :)