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Friday, March 27, 2009Y
7:20 am
My leg is getting better. At least after I spammed counterpain on it before physical activities. I feel much happier now that I can do sports again.
Anyway, I realised that I am very weird.
I once said that I will become very grumpy when I don't get enough sleep. Thats true.
But I realised that sometimes I'm in fact very energised when I don't get enough sleep and instead become very grumpy when I have had enough.
Yea la yea la, I'm grumpy round the clock okay.
Actually I think I know why is that so.. keke
You know when we sleep enough, our body will become even more relax and get use to the sleeping mode and yearn for more sleep? So if we don't get enough we will feel that we are deprived and feel grumpy. Do you agree? ? I don't know man, thats what I think after pondering for very long..hmm..
Then when I have very little sleep the night before( like yesterday), I feel very energised today!!! Actually not energised, maybe I'm challenging myself to complete everything that I have to, when subconciously I'm having this mentality that I can't. Surprising the day passed really fast for me! I don't why I either, I slept at 1 am plus last night as I was rushing my GP essay which I started at 12am. -.- Haha, I was distracted before that and in the end we didn't even need to hand it in today. -.- Its okay, at least I have one load off my shoulders. :D
Anyway the reason why I was distracted because I was watching alot of TV last night! Oh no, I feel guilty confessing it but I havn watched tv for very long already. You know there is this very cute baby show yesterday. I was feeling very grumpy before and after watching it, I was revived! The babies are all so adorable and I feel like kidnapping all of them home. HAHAHA, I sound like a freak.
But they are really super cute, oh dear!
The babies actually talked to the tv you know, they think the money used in monopoly is real too because they recognise money by number and picture and the fake money has all of them, so it is a real money. Ain't babies cute, I love them. I saw many in vivo into, vivo is one of the places with major supply of cute babies from all ethnicity. One of them is chasing a green balloon and giggling from the heart, he has brown hair too. I also saw a father playing catching with his son, that is really sweet. It is really a joyful scene and they remind me of my father. My father is a really sweet gentleman too, I love him. Children seem to have no trouble and they play all day long. I love their innocent smiles. :))
Anyway I have added a new korean song on my blog, it is after my old blog song. Try listening to it, its not bad.
Floorball tomorrow, see ya guys :)
Friday, March 20, 2009Y
8:50 pm
Thursday, March 19, 2009Y
8:10 am
Wednesday, March 18, 2009Y
11:19 pm
Just that my concern comes in a form of silence.
I can forego all the worldly desires, I only want your heart.
Sunday, March 15, 2009Y
4:16 am
Fever of 40 plus degrees and a serious flu plus a very bad sore throat that forces me to breathe with my nose because my throat hurts when I inhale air from my mouth.
Not forgeting the tendon in my left thigh which is still recovering from the match last sunday after I sprained it again.
Honestly, I really don't know why my body is so weak this year. In the past I will only fall sick for like..once a year??
This is upsetting me. I can't go for floorball, Pe, or go anywhere myself without feeling like I'm going to faint for every step I take. Furthermore I have to face several doubtful eyes from some scheming people as if I'm feigning and I feel guilty not going for floorball when nationals is so near and also not going for pe.
but its not like I want it. You think bearing all these is easy? try it for yourself..You think I want to waste my parents money by going to docs for so many times? You think I'm a loser that has nothing better to do? Its over a few hundred bucks k..because I see the doc more than once everytime it worsens. You think I feel good not going for training or for pe? I come from a ug grp so of course I know the meaning of "all for one and one for all" and seriously they are actually not very tough or tiring for me. Its just that I have reasons and I know what I'm doing. I don't wanna push myself anymore, because I injured my tendon just because I stubbornly pushed myself during training when I havn even recover from the stomach flu then and when its healing again, I pushed myself to go for t match and I injured it again. As for pe, do you think I will be satisfied with an B, C or D for my 2.4km run because I havn run for so long? Its not that getting a B or C is bad, but since I'm used to A, you think I will be stupid enough to fake that I'm ill just to slack during pe and not get my A? I dare to say that I've never slack during pe before okay, I always try my best to run to my maximum ability. This is crap man, please don't be unfair to me.
I think pushing ourselves to challenge our limit is a good thing, but there must be a limit to it, or else you will end up like miserable winnie.
Aiks, don't misunderstand I'm not angry or whatever, I'm just fed up at myself for falling sick all t time, worrying my parents and friends. To those who have cared for me, helped me around, doing little sweet actions like walking slower with me because I can't walk very fast, thanks a lot. I'm really glad that I've met you. :) To those who don't or even doubt me, I don't really care either.
Actually there are not many of the latter la, I'm just writing out what I feel in case there are people out there who belongs to that category. Or maybe I'm going crazy because of the heat on my forehard, hoho.
Nah..don't worry..enough of my rantings..just feeling very low because of all my injuries la..because I'm missing out on alot of stuff..:(
my throat hurts..
Anyway will be returning back to the arms of my beloved floorball on Wednesday although my tendon is still a little painful, but hope that it will be okay. We are having a friendly match with
NJC at Tampines cc. There is also some SPH event to welcome the new student correspondents at SPH on the same day I think?
Aiks, lots of homework waiting for me too, I can't remain cool already. I'm typically feeling grumpy all day long nowadays. :((((
Hope something will come along this study break to cheer me up, I must pray to the god..
Bye..
Friday, March 06, 2009Y
5:12 am
They are just so-so, definitely not good enough and not up to my expectations. Well, I read the straits time today and there is this special part of it devoted to scholarships. I guess its because today is the day that the A-levels results are going to be released. So I was reading every scholarships available on the newspapers very seriously and asking myself many questions.
In what scope of skills should I pursue for my job in future? What am I good at? Even if I'm interested, will I be eligible for them? Have I worked hard enough?
The answer is well..definitely obvious and a straight no. Actually I have been quite cross with myself because I have been doing all these reflections so very often and yet I can't seem to make myself do what I want to do. Aiks, sorry I have my flaws. But I guess I really have to stop all this and work hard because I'm really worried for A-levels. I don't want to make life hard for my parents nor trouble them in anyway because of my poor management and discipline.
So yea, I'm currently in the process of upgrading my lifestyle. I've already stopped sleeping at late hours of 12 or 1pm due to the influence of palmer, so I practically sleep at 10pm or latest 11.30pm everyday. Well, I think thats a great improvement on my part, at least I have prevented myself from being grumpy in the morning every morning. Kekeke.. :P
What else.. Oh yea, I've also reduced my usage of the internet and have been doing my tutorials and work regularly. I feel much better spiritually now, there is a lot of meaning in my life now, hoho. I will work harder!
and I have been rather sickly for the first few months too. Had a stomach flu few days ago and my stomach almost rotted because it was hurting so so so much then. Its like having cramps in my stomach every minute, you can't imagine how bad it was, was almost admitted into the hospital. Didn't go to school for a few days because I had no strength from all the vomits and etc. Feeling warm and fuzzy for that few days though because of the care and concern that my family and friends had given me. Thanks P for coming at night to bring me to the doctor too, I'm really touched. :)
All this is a belated post for someone. Happy sixth month palmer. I had a very wonderful half a year with you. Thanks for all the love, despite my bad temper, I'm really touched by your tolerance for my moodswings. I feel like a princess in front of you and to me you are someone who I can depend on in times of crisis and someone that I can confide in. I feel really happy and comfortable when I'm with you and I hope you feel the same way. I know that life is unpredictable and there is no definite answer to any relationship. But after such a long period togehter, I've found my own answer to our relationship. I don't want to say anything mushy and I just want you to know that I appreciate you alot and I will treasure you wholeheartedly, even more. I hope we can forget the time and stay on like this together happily ever after :)
Baby I love you, thanks for the couple tee and sweets..<3
I am...
