I am...
Monday, December 29, 2008Y
6:27 pm
These few days have been challenging for us.
Thanks for being there for me, I really appreciate it alot.
I can't help but visit my blog to listen to our song everyday, it gives me strength.
Sweet baby don't fear, this hurdle is for us to overcome together, our love will only grow stronger.
Happy 4 months. :)
Saturday, December 27, 2008Y
3:17 am
Nothing is constant.Perhaps change is the only constant.
I don't know why I'm saying this, nothing happened to me actually, its just some of my reflections. Kinda recalled some events in my life, and those beliefs that I once held so strongly to. It is amazing how some of them evaporated and disappeared as the time goes by.
Whenever people ask me about my ambition in future, I would give them some vague answers nonchalantly and dismiss that thought immediately. Come to think of it, my answers are different all the time. Some of them are abstract, unreachable, too reachable and etc. Honestly, I do not have an exact goal worth working and striving hard for right now. My life now is like a balloon hovering through a thick mist. I do not know the danger ahead, yet I'm powerless over my own destiny since Im so penetrable. This may sound like a crude and careless remark. But I feel that its time for me to settle down and stop hovering around like a social butterfly.
I know that I'm once a girl who was so easily overcomed by emotions, using her heart instead of her brain to think. If you ask me if I have lived meaningfully, I would tell you yes, because I dare to face all my problems myself and solve it. However undeniably, I have certain flaws which I have yet to change till now. I need to dispose off that irrationality and the ferocious temper that would rise from nowhere when I'm angered. Argh, my pride is also an issue, I should not let it obstruct me too often.
4 days to the end of 2008. As I look back on 2008, I feel that it is quite a short year. It is not as exciting as the precious years, yet it is filled with fond memories. I've experienced many internal struggles and regrets regarding my studies and at the same time, I met another special boy in my life. His existence brought ripples of sweetness and happiness once again into my already numbed heart. As I juggled between my various commitments and my studies, 2008 sprinted past me.
In the new year, I want to find a goal for myself and develop my niche area. At the same time, i want to constantly remind myself of the importance of education because I realised that the meaning of it is slowly slipping away from me.
Argh winnie, life is not a bed of roses! I will still follow my heart and do what I like to do, but at the same time, I will still complete what I'm suppose to do properly. The reason why I'm reflecting and exposing all my flaws here is because i want live a more meaningful and happier life. Acknowledging the problems is always the first step and its also partly because I'm very bored at home.
I hope that by the end of 2009, I can look back and announce loudly that I did everything that I want to do.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008Y
5:00 am
Merry Christmas from lovely and me :D
Monday, December 22, 2008Y
7:25 am
Sun burnt again after floorball. Why am I so prone to having sunburns? Seriously, I don't know whether I should consider this as good thing or not. It has its pros and cons, meaning I will remain fair forever and I won't get tan forever. So the issue here is whether fair or tan is nicer. So this comes down to the perception of beauty, which I don't really care much for since I don't have any control over my skin colour. Anyway I feel okay with my own body and I don't see a need to do any change to it. After four years in np, my skin tone didn't really get any darker..ahh..I will stop now because I sound so girlish, yueting gonna scold me soon oh no. :/
I have freckles hidden on my skin! zzzz
Anyway, congratulations yueting for completing your CI course. You are a cadet inspector now! and wow you completed t 21 days course, BRAVO, I'm proud of you squadmate! Hold on to your dreams! hehehe
and today I just found out that palmer was the head prefect in his primary school. Wa, I suddenly feel so happy and proud for him,I don't know why although its like a matter from ages ago. But not everyone can be a head prefect right, not bad palmer!:D
Anyway, Peggy lost her dog, skippy. :( I always thought skippy has a cute name, makes me think of a bouncy and lively dog, and peanut butter too ;P Anyway, this is peggy's blog http://daintylove.diaryland.com/visit it and look out for her dog skippy alright! Anyway don't be sad peggy, I hope he comes back soon! hearts <3
Aiks, I'm typng random stuff as usual today. Hmm..nothing much to add on on my life, because its pretty normal since I'm trapped at home for most of the days.
I realised that passion doesn't last. I'm kinda sick of something that I once loved one year ago.
Don't misunderstand, I'm not refering to anyone, its just something...a thing.. yea its this one thing which is bothering me.
But I'm quite fine, so don't worry :)
I'm currently addicted to a drama called My Lucky Star recommended by shuhui. Its really nice with wonderful plot and melodious songs, so you can try watching it! :D
Gonna sleep now, making spaghetti for my lovely tomorrow, yum yum. Sugar dreams! <3
Sunday, December 14, 2008Y
5:19 am
I've realised that many things in life do not go according to how we wish, hmm..obstacles I should say..
especially people, yes people..
For many times we quarrel with people because our objectives don't match, or just because we just feel unhappy about seeing him or her..
but actually if we think carefully, many things are beyond our control, like how our teeth look, how big are our eyes and etc..
and everyone has their own reasons, principles behind their behaviour..maybe this would clash with some other individual's opinion and conflict might escalate..
I don't even know why I'm blogging about all these stuff after such a long empty period of blogging.
I just feel that our understanding for each other is too vulnerable and sometimes, they break too easily. And by each other, I mean our close friends and all..Sometimes, this is why we lose our friends without even knowing why..
On a lighter note, hi all :) I'm back from Qingdao.
Life been good, quite fulfilling, too fulfilling to put them in words.
I din really gt a job yet, but I din really waste time too..spent my time quite wisely..I think?
haha..though I hope to get a job soon honestly..shuhui!!
And Qingdao is a really beautiful city, with all the windy beaches and hospitable people.
I feel quite at home there, except for the weather. haha, my skin kept peeling over there, but my complexion sort of got better after I returned to sunny Singapore :)
Amazing huh, I really don't know why, everytime my skin peels, my pimples disappear! Its like magic and I'm not kidding.
Nothing else to elaborate, having floorball training tomorrow at 730am and meeting our new coach for the first time too. Anyway, RVFBT (River Valley Floor Ball Team) is recruiting! We need more members to form a team to compete in matches. Aiks, don't be disillusioned by the floorball PE sessions last yearokay, it totally sucks, ours is a wholly new experience! We are cool with our sticks. Join us! Interested parties please contact any of our floorball members!
and mingjie just reminded me of the unit chalet this tuesday to thursday. Don't know if I will be going..we'll see..:)
Got to sleep now, because I know I will be very grumpy tomorrow if I don't sleep.
Bye :D
Sunday, December 07, 2008Y
8:21 pm
Specially came to post something...because it yueting's birthday!hahaha..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY my dear
although you cant go out with us today..
hope you have enjoyed the last moment of your fifteenth year..:)
all the best to you future CI!
jiayou! squadmates will be behind you always :)
Loves <3
Friday, December 05, 2008Y
10:00 am
数不清的泪我又哭了好几回
幻化成蝶
停留在这片落叶
被风化的雪
埋藏在千年以前
我用尽一生的思念
只为等着你出现
回忆渐渐凋谢落在我身边
唤不醒原来还跳动的画面
就让我留在轮回的边缘
等一道光线
看见某年某月我们之间曾经说过的预言
就让他带走你的那瞬间
成为我们的纪念
谁能发现我的世界
曾经有过你的脸
如果没有你 我怎会记得那年的夏天
很晚了，睡不着。。也不知为何。。
心里有个沉沉的感觉。。
今晚，我感觉我好像是一个迷路的小孩。。盲盲目目在黑暗中摸索某些感觉。。
在床上发呆了很久。。才决定来这里寻找一些安慰。。
这几天和很多朋友联系了。。心理忽然有个觉醒的感觉。。你们的关怀让我倍感温馨
很想念某些朋友还有从前的时光。。
或许我从前太顾及别人的感受了吧。。而总是让自己受到伤害。。
我该怎么做呢？
我的心好乱啊。。我需要你的辅导 ：（