Valentine's

Sunday, June 15, 2008Y

1:31 am

Going to squad chalet tomorrow, although it started today by right.
Sorry for not attending unit bbq and first day of squad chalet, its fathers' day!
Yushan just went out of home at 12.21am just now. Actually wanted to join her, but ayes..tomorrow morning then!

Today thought of a lot of things.
Actually I do have people who care and understand me a lot just that I didn't realise. Hey thanks for being there for me always, the smses and stuff.

Hmm..I don't know how to say..
I always don't know how to say.

I'm finding a lot of things pointless now.

Don't know whether to believe in certain things or not.

But for one, I believe I can definitely get promoted to year 5.
Thats for sure now, because I am putting my all to achieve this goal.

I want to achieve it.
I don't care whether you think I can or not, because I think I can.

Someone once told me that I have sacrificed my friends, sqdmates, fun because of my studies.
I'm someone who participated in almost EVERYTHING that needed me in the past.
You can see evidences from NP. I attended all the parades, competitions, outings and etc..
but now I even back out of the ROD dance, the last squad event which I could ever have for my last ROD. Not that I really wanted to.

I don't know if you know how I feel.
I'm feeling very stressed out, afraid, worried.

I don't want my father to meet any principal anymore, unless for a good cause.

I'm sorry, I know I will disappoint you for not going out all the time. But my studies is my priority now. I guess if you are my friend, you will understand.

Yea, thanks for understanding though.

Now, I'm left with battling with myself, my determination, discipline. Which I will win, if not, hit me on the head.

Lol..
nah..I will try my best..really..

Hmm..if you see me trying to give up..do give me a push on the back or scold me..I will appreciate it a lot..

I will focus wholly on my studies after squad chalet and nothing else.
I will work super hard to get that GPA.
I will achieve it.

and first I will kick this habit of sleeping late.

You won't catch me online after 11.30pm again, during school hours, unless I've got major stuff. Actually its super hard( look at all the time that I post), but I don't want to give myself excuses!

Jiayou WINNIE!
You can do it because you are WINNIE.

I got to slp now.
meeting mingjie and weikai at 1030am tmr.
nights