I am...
Saturday, July 05, 2008Y
10:08 pm
I don't know how to phrase all the thoughts which are racing pass my mind currently..But I really have the urge to say it.
You know, almost 50% of my time in RV were filled by my academic work. The rest of the 50% were filled by none other than RVNP. I can't remember why I joined NP in the first place.
I only have vague memories of seeing a squad from NP drilling in the old campus.
I were pondering whether to join NP or NCC, which the answer is obvious now.
I guess my choice were right yea know.
I can't believe time passed so fast, 4 yrs had almost passed.
I could still remember meeting all my fellow sqdmates one by one, trying to remember their names, their class, etc.
I could even remember hating pear. LOL
Seeing little clarine(first sqdmate I met in np), little qinhui ( who was super short last time and black too), little pear(centre parting and also black), little yueting( everytime tell us she wanna be policewoman in future), little chiou yih ( punky hair, I thought she was a bad girl), little guofeng( look like a nerd last time, weird spec), little charmaine( round face, cute), little yiling( look very studious), little hanqian( look very lao tu, lol), little mingjie(always look very dumbstruck), little jhosy( singing here and there)...etc..and little winnie ( myself, super white and just even more white) LOL
I remember doing ridiculous stuff, like running in the rain, taking some fun rides with pear while shouting some ridiculous names.
Saying and living with all the I love NPs that we say all the time.
Telling you guys whatever worries I had, the sense of accomplishments we had, the dragon pumpings, the cheers.
Our PT freaks, our dance sessions, running around the school, saying lame stories, changing parades, even those little squabbles we had seem so sweet and made our friendship even more impenetrable.
Yea know, the times we had were really...unreplaceable.
Our mentality, appearance, attitude, behaviour may change after all these years, but I guess no matter what, those memories of RVNP with our squadmates will stay in us forever. Maybe we don't really feel it, or talk about it, or even doubt the existance of such linkage, belonging to our squad, but I guess it really do exist, but it only show itself when the right time comes.
To ask our concience, we really take everything in NP very seriously, although our NCOs then still tell us that we're not good for don't know how many times, just definitely more than how much I tell my squad now. I doubt the cadets currently can experience that kind of feelings again. Maybe they interpret that kind of feelnigs in a new way. Like what others had said, we can't compare ourselve with the juniors now. Afterall we were trained in a different way. But yea, sometimes I got mixed up and were even disappointed when I see that my cadets were not like how we were last time. You know, I don't mean my own squad is the best, I mean they do not behave like how they are expected to like how we were expected to last time, the change in attitude and I got so angry. I forgot that times had changed. Its not their fault, probably my fault that I have still not adapted to the system now.
Actually all along, I still believe in corporal punishment. I guess the times when I was a cadet, pumping nonstop in the rain and stuff, were those that made my np life such a lively one. So yea..I really miss those times. I feel kinda pity for my sec 2s that they can't experience what we had experienced last time. But come to think of it, there is no absolute solution for anything, maybe the system now can also ripe a whole new kind of experience for them.
I really hope this sec 2 squad of mine can evolve into a good NCO squad in future. Whether they still remember us or not does not matter. Just hope that one day when we see them again 2 years down the road, they're grown up already and still keep that cute innocence and beliefs in them.
I have wrote so much today that I wonder whether I still have anything left to write when our ROD comes. But nothing to worry about, I guess something will come into my head that day.
