I am...
Sunday, March 15, 2009Y
4:16 am
I'm officially ill for the third time in the year. ( 2 months plus only)Fever of 40 plus degrees and a serious flu plus a very bad sore throat that forces me to breathe with my nose because my throat hurts when I inhale air from my mouth.
Not forgeting the tendon in my left thigh which is still recovering from the match last sunday after I sprained it again.
Honestly, I really don't know why my body is so weak this year. In the past I will only fall sick for like..once a year??
This is upsetting me. I can't go for floorball, Pe, or go anywhere myself without feeling like I'm going to faint for every step I take. Furthermore I have to face several doubtful eyes from some scheming people as if I'm feigning and I feel guilty not going for floorball when nationals is so near and also not going for pe.
but its not like I want it. You think bearing all these is easy? try it for yourself..You think I want to waste my parents money by going to docs for so many times? You think I'm a loser that has nothing better to do? Its over a few hundred bucks k..because I see the doc more than once everytime it worsens. You think I feel good not going for training or for pe? I come from a ug grp so of course I know the meaning of "all for one and one for all" and seriously they are actually not very tough or tiring for me. Its just that I have reasons and I know what I'm doing. I don't wanna push myself anymore, because I injured my tendon just because I stubbornly pushed myself during training when I havn even recover from the stomach flu then and when its healing again, I pushed myself to go for t match and I injured it again. As for pe, do you think I will be satisfied with an B, C or D for my 2.4km run because I havn run for so long? Its not that getting a B or C is bad, but since I'm used to A, you think I will be stupid enough to fake that I'm ill just to slack during pe and not get my A? I dare to say that I've never slack during pe before okay, I always try my best to run to my maximum ability. This is crap man, please don't be unfair to me.
I think pushing ourselves to challenge our limit is a good thing, but there must be a limit to it, or else you will end up like miserable winnie.
Aiks, don't misunderstand I'm not angry or whatever, I'm just fed up at myself for falling sick all t time, worrying my parents and friends. To those who have cared for me, helped me around, doing little sweet actions like walking slower with me because I can't walk very fast, thanks a lot. I'm really glad that I've met you. :) To those who don't or even doubt me, I don't really care either.
Actually there are not many of the latter la, I'm just writing out what I feel in case there are people out there who belongs to that category. Or maybe I'm going crazy because of the heat on my forehard, hoho.
Nah..don't worry..enough of my rantings..just feeling very low because of all my injuries la..because I'm missing out on alot of stuff..:(
my throat hurts..
Anyway will be returning back to the arms of my beloved floorball on Wednesday although my tendon is still a little painful, but hope that it will be okay. We are having a friendly match with
NJC at Tampines cc. There is also some SPH event to welcome the new student correspondents at SPH on the same day I think?
Aiks, lots of homework waiting for me too, I can't remain cool already. I'm typically feeling grumpy all day long nowadays. :((((
Hope something will come along this study break to cheer me up, I must pray to the god..
Bye..
